From Homeless to Millionaire - by E.G. Sebastian

I’m nothing special – or, better yet, I’m as special as you or anyone else out there.  We are all special in different ways…  But then let me put it this way: I’m not smarter than most people around me.  Even worse, some will call me outright crazy, silly, goofy, and I’ve been called names that I don’t feel comfortable sharing…

What I have in common with most people around me is that I’m a dreamer.  We all dream of success, wealth, fame, traveling to distant lands… but only a small percentage of us take action.  What makes me different from most people around me is that I do take action.

By my early 2Os I came to the conclusion that life is a tremendous gift and thought it’d be foolish to waist this precious gift selling my time – selling my life - for anything less than what I absolutely enjoy. So, at age 23, with $5 in my pocket, my parents living two continents away from me, I quit my job as a surgical assistant and decided that I’ll become either a millionaire or a street bum – nothing in between.  And in a short 8-month I reached my goal… I became homeless.  A classy homeless, nevertheless.  I joined as a commission-only salesman an Austrian-Hungarian firm called HungaroMarketing and every morning I would dress up in my suit and tie and hit the road trying to sell my electric grill chicken cooker.  Unfortunately, due to my slight ADD – or my strong drive to succeed - I did not hear during my training that I was supposed to try to sell my product door-to-door; hence I approached only big national chain stores and other big companies.  For close to a year I lived at a church shelter and often ate only once a day.  Hunger was my best friend for many months during that period, but never despair or hopelessness.

I had two beliefs that were guiding me during that time:

1. I’m no dumber than anyone else out there – if others managed to become successful, so can I; and

2. “Do not try to re-invent the wheel – study what other successful people do and emulate them.”

What ultimately turned things around for me – in addition to my strong drive and my above 2 simple beliefs – was the ability to befriend several of my contacts to whom I was trying to sell, and one of them had the know-how on how to establish new companies, had an attorney to assist him, but had no foreign language skills; so he asked me to help him out (I speak 6 languages)… And that started me at the early age of 24 as an International Business Consultant.  Only two years later I entered into a joint-venture with a Chinese firm and established Gomek Ltd., an Export-Import company that I successfully managed till 1995. 

I’d say another major turning point in my life was when I decided to move to the United States, 14 years ago, and re-create my success here.  Was I in for a surprise…, but that’s another story.  I had to totally reinvent myself.  I enrolled in college and got a bachelors degree in management, got certified as a DiSC Behavioral Trainer and as an Empowerment Coach, and started a brand new life.  Currently I’m a successful Relationship & Leadership Development Coach, an international speaker and a published author.

I’d say that about 90% of my early success was due to allowing others to mentor me and soaking up all the knowledge I could from those who were willing to share.  I know that most people have a desire to be successful, but very few have the openness and willingness to listen to those who already have all the answers.  Surely enough, by simply listening to my mentors and following their teachings, by age 27 I had my first million.  True, it was in Hungarian currency, but it was an accomplishment that ninety plus percent of Hungarians only dream off.  In a country where people were making $3OO to $5OO a MONTH, I was making up to $12OO a DAY.  And I’m not saying this to boast – I’m just sharing this to show you that even as a young entrepreneur what is possible when one is willing to do their “homework” and do whatever it takes to succeed.  I got to a level of financial success where I could freely help those in need, traveled extensively to three continents to more than a dozen countries (spent considerable time all over China, one of my favorite places in the world), owned several vehicles, had 5 Caucasian Bear Killers (very similar looking to the Great Pyrenees), and lived in a dream home – in one word, I felt like  I was on top of the world. 

It all started with a dream…  and with a “little” effort, I made my dream a reality.

To Learn more about E.G. Sebastian click HERE and HERE

Self acceptance - by Kay

Earlier in life, I was miserable with myself and always felt less than adequate and extremely self-conscious of my body.  I grew up with diabetic, weight-conscious parents whose beliefs conditioned me to ‘diet-worry’ since the age of three when my weight started increasing.  Don’t get me wrong, my parents did what they thought was right at the time and I respect that (now they rest in peace).  But, this conditioning was partially the reason for my destructive behavior.  Those negative patterns lasted into my early forties and left me standing with no feelings of accomplishment, self worth or happiness.  In 1996, I endured a complete hysterectomy and was prescribed oral hormone replacements and then in 1998 I developed a thyroid condition requiring medication to control it.  The combination of these two factors along with the additional medications caused even more weight gain. 
 

This first photo was taken in January 1999 the night before my surgery, wearing a size 26.   I told everyone that I was having this surgery for myself, but truth be known, I was also looking for approval from my family & friends. Most of all, I wanted my daughter and my mom to be proud; not ashamed.  Now, I realize I was placing those outlandish thoughts in my own mind… my daughter and mother have always been proud of me – but I was blinded by negative body obsession. 
The weight loss procedure was a BPD (Biliopancreatic diversion) and has sometimes been referred to as the ‘eater’s dream’.  After awhile and by design, I was able to eat a full size meal.  My digestive system only absorbs 40% of everything I eat (except sugar which is typically absorbed 100% in the mouth).  However, this includes nutrients… so I now suffer from malnutrition and absorption issues causing other health-related concerns even though I take a double dose of several daily supplements and exercise regularly.   For me, the domino effect of these conditions includes kidney stones, osteoporosis, fibromyalgia, major dental issues, and other extensive conditions. 
This medical procedure has improved over the years but since I had it over 10 years ago, I haven’t kept up on the topic because it is no longer as important to me and it will not control my every move or thought.  My body has stabilized finally ten years later and is maintaining itself for now.  That’s what counts, so I’ve moved on.  It is my past – not my future.  
 

This second photo was taken just a bit more than a year after the surgery in April 2000.  It appears that I’m feeling better.  I was on my way to wearing a size 10.  I thought I had life all figured out and that losing 120 pounds was the answer to all my problems.  This couldn’t have been further from the truth…. more health concerns crept into the picture and I had to go through two more surgeries that were related to digestive issues.  I spent more time in medical facilities than ever over the next five years.  The toll on my mind & body was overwhelming.   
Of course, at the time it was interesting to see everyone’s reaction to the ‘new me’ yet I tried to tell them… It’s still just me.  They marveled at the physical changes and they talked about how much better I must have been feeling to get all that weight off of my 5’3” frame.  I nodded my head as if I agreed since that was what I was supposed to feel, but my heart & mind knew better.  I started noticing all the loose skin that was hanging from my arms, my tummy and my thighs – not to mention my breasts were having a race to the floor.  Additionally, I’d missed so much time from work due to illness that I was feeling like a burden to everyone around me.  The question loomed in my mind, “This is what I get for trying to lose weight?”.  
  

This photo was taken recently in October 2009 and I’m feeling the best I’ve felt my entire life.  Over the past ten years, I’ve been on more medications than I care to think about including many anti-depressants.  Now, I only take three life-sustaining medications and not a single one of them is an anti-depressant.  Hindsight tells me that they are over-rated.  In my opinion, they only masked the underlying causes of my depression rather than solving it.  In my case, they caused even more emphasis on my depression every time I took them.  Swallowing those pills reinforced the thought in my mind that I was depressed.  Depression is the message I was sending out to the entire universe and so I received more of the same.  Do I regret having the surgery?  No.  Again, it was something I had to experience in my life to get to this point. 
This year has been one of self-discovery and realization.  What an eye opening journey I’ve experienced this year with self acceptance.  The timing is uncanny as I compare my life now to what it was then.  Why?  Well, a couple of years ago, I thought my life was over.  My severe depression led to a suicidal state (and mark my words… the warning labels stating anti-depressants can cause thoughts of suicide are true).  My relationships with family and friends were crumbling because I had withdrawn from everyone.  I became socially invisible by choice – then, I decided to do something about my current state.  I started reading and researching which led to making discoveries about my mind, my heart and my body that helped me realize that it was all up to me to feel the way I wanted to feel – happy and content.
Finally, in my mid-forties I discovered how to forgive myself for the negative feelings I created, how to forgive others for their judgment and how to accept myself and my body with love and appreciation.  I have learned that losing weight with weight loss surgery (or any other method) is not the answer to being happy.  The answer is in realizing one’s own self worth, acknowledging accomplishments, and realizing one’s own unique beauty and ability to control the future.  The most important discovery I made is this:  My life will always be a product of my thoughts and my choices.  No one else can make those decisions for me.
Most of the time, I still see myself as never having lost those 120 pounds.  It’s amazing how the human mind perceives images and concepts.  I’m truly a plus size woman with every ounce of my being.  My clothing size doesn’t matter to me or to anyone else, but just for reference in this story I’m now a size 14.  I don’t own a set of bathroom scales – there is no emphasis on weight in my life.  If circumstances would cause me to be larger, I’m ok with that because I know my state of mind is healthy, which leads to a healthier body.  This change in thought is the reason for my health improvements – bottom line.  It’s all a state of mind anyway and I’m happy to say that I’ve landed in the comfort zone.  
If my story can touch the life of even one woman who is unhappy with herself because she feels that her weight is holding her back, then my goal of exposing this much of my personal life has been achieved.  If I have reached out to women who take anti-depressants each day wanting relief from depression, I hope you can realize that the answers are not in that little pill.  A year ago, I would have never imagined sharing my weight loss journey in this light and now I find it to be liberating and exhilarating.  Please understand that when you change your thought process to work for you, instead of against you, the other changes such as healthier eating solutions or approaches to fitness will most definitely come to you.  Gratitude in every part of your life is necessary so count your blessings today and start realizing what you have and what you are – rather than thinking ‘should have, could have or would have’.  You can create the kind of mind, body and health you need and want by changing your thought process.. right now.

To learn more about Kay and her incredible life, visit her website
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Coming To America - Lyonel Lumarque

I was born on a beautiful Caribbean island called Haiti. I grew up a very happy child; I remember times of laughter in our household on a daily basis. I was an only child for almost 10 years but I was not alone. I lived in a house with all my extended family, Grandma, my uncles and aunts and all my cousins. I knew we were a special family because we were the only ones I knew that grew up that way, it was pretty awesome! I didn’t have the typical upbringing that everyone here is used to; I grew up without a father – I have one, I just don’t know who he is – I didn’t really feel a void because all my extended family was there for support and guidance in my upbringing. My father figure in the house was my uncle Jacky, one of the most brilliant minds I’ve had the opportunity to glean from. He really encouraged me to be myself no matter what anyone else thought. Uncle Jacky, I am grateful to you forever!

I moved to the US at 14 when I went out for a boat ride with friends and fell overboard. I had to swim and thought I was being chased by sharks! I did not stop until I reached the shore… Just kidding! I could not resist that one –ha-ha!! Actually, my little brother and I moved here to live with my mom and stepfather in Brooklyn, NY. Wow! What a shock that was, here I am in a new country full of stuff and opportunities that I could only imagine as a kid and I only knew how to say my name in English! I went to work with my stepdad after a week living here. I worked as the emergency line operator for his electrical contracting company. My job was to answer the emergency line and direct the emergency and non-emergency calls to the proper departments. Remember, I spoke no English! That was one of the funnest (yes, I know that’s not a word) jobs ever! When people called and I gave my greeting, I just listened for a pause on their end and simply asked “Is this an emergency?” If they answered anything other than “yes or no” I kept repeating the question until I got one of those answers.  I then read the instructions to them according to their answers and hung up the phone. I really enjoyed that summer! I learned how to speak English by watching Sesame Street and M.A.S.H.  in the afternoon and I Love Lucy and The Honeymooners with my mom every night before going to bed.

One of my first defining moments came during this period. I started high school on November 27^th, Monday after Thanksgiving. Because of my age, they wanted to automatically put me in as a freshman, even though my transcripts clearly showed that I should be a junior. I argued my point to the best of my ability (language barrier did not help) and they settled on me being a sophomore. I was determined to prove that I belonged in a higher grade even though I had no idea how I was to do it! I excelled in all my classes immediately, even English (I could not speak fluently but I could read and write very well) and caught the attention of some of my teachers and coaches, my math teacher in particular. After I shared my story with him, he took it upon himself to help me prove to the guidance counselors that I should be moved up in grade. After passing a series of tests, I was given the opportunity to be a senior the next year with a stipulation that I take Junior English and History/Government classes as a requirement to graduate. I was ecstatic! I was finally realizing my goal… then the blow came: my parents bought a house in East Orange, New Jersey and we were moving in at the end of the school year. Everything I just worked so hard for all year long was taken away in a single move! I was now going to have to spend 2 more years in a different school, in a different state before I could graduate. I was devastated but I never gave up on my goal.

That summer, after the move, while going back and forth to my stepfather’s office to work, I found a solution: stay in my current school in Brooklyn, NY and commute to East Orange, NJ! I thought it was brilliant and simple, everyone else thought I was crazy and stupid – go figure! I spent the next few weeks convincing my parents to let me try. They finally agreed with a few rules: No excessive tardies, no missing classes, no drop in my grades ( I was only allowed A’s and a couple of B’s) and I had to find my own way back and forth to school. I jumped at the opportunity, not realizing exactly what it would take to accomplish that task.

·         My class schedule was from 7:30am to 3:30pm. I had no homeroom, recess or lunch hours because they were all being used to make up classes I needed to graduate.

·         I was on the track and soccer teams and I did not want to give them up- I went to all meets/events and practices which were immediately after school.

·         My commute each way was 3 ½ hours. From home I caught a bus to a train just to get to NYC; from there I caught 3 more trains and a bus to get to my school. The opposite going home.

·         When we had track meets they usually were not done until late hours especially during indoor season. Instead of getting home around 10pm which was usual after practice, I would get in typically between 1:30 and 2:30am. Homework still had to be done and I had to be back up ready to leave by 4am to get to school on time the next morning.

I’m proud to say that I graduated with Honors that year. Was it tough? Oh yeah! Did I want to quit? Almost every day! I just didn’t know how to quit so I kept moving forward, I kept telling myself “Give it one more day and see how it goes” and I wanted to silence my critics. I learned a valuable lesson during that time that still serves me well to this day: I can accomplish ANYTHING if I want it bad enough and I think outside the box! There’s always a way, sometimes we just don’t want to pay the price. I was willing and I paid it and I’m glad I did.

How are you Spending Your Dash?

The Dash  <----Click Here and watch the mini movie*

by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came her date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,

What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile

Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash

Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

© 1996 All Rights Reserved, Linda Ellis

Friends: 


I chose this poem to be the very first blog entry because I want this blog to more than just a "typical" article filled blog.  This blog is about inspiring, helping, teaching, uplifting and giving back to others.  


Every time I read this poem it inspires me to be more, to be better and to continue to learn and grow as much as possible as a person so that when I work with my clients or help my friends or give to a stranger I am the BEST I can be.  I want my life to speak to others to inspire them (almost like a ripple effect) to be the best that they can be too.  


I look forward to getting to know you all through these positive life inspiring and changing stories.


Blessings & Success!


Jennifer Rundall


P.S. May your life dash be filled with immense joy, fulfillment, great love and one you will be absolutely proud of.